Im really here!

So since the last time I was here to actually say something, Ive been mostly sick and not wanted to be the whiner and complain all the time!
When I was pregnant with Oliver I was pretty sick, not just nauseous but pukey sick.  However, with this go around, I just have a very uncomforatble stomach! I dont do well being sick...as Noah puts it.  So, basically I wanted to spare everyone that annoyance and let sweet sweet Noah have it all :) just kidding

We have however been up to some things!
Were in the process of trying to eat even better than we already sort of do...Noah is on the idea of not wanting to eat lots of red meat, which I totally understand, however Im NOT feeling chicken like I did with Oliver this time.  SO! we are working on trying a semi vegetarian thing...for a lack of better term. The other night I made Portabella Fajitas and OH MAN were they DE-LISH! I thought I took a picture of them....but FAIL! Im trying to vary our menu so if you have any suggestions please let me know!

On another note:  We took a family trip to Kansas City this weekend; just the three of us!
It was AMAZING! I could not of asked for a more well behaved little boy! He played with his IronMan most of the weekend.  When he wasnt he was playing with his cousins or splashing around at Oceans of Fun!
Let me tell you! It was a little chillier than I was expecting...but Oliver absolutely enjoyed it! We had to pull him away from the pirate ship and he did not like it! Other than that I think all three of us had a huge grin plastered on our faces!
I got to show Noah the Legends Mall and I think he was pretty excited about it...
We both got to share something new with each other as well as Oliver!

I really could not of asked for a better weekend! I love the times that we can get away and just be with US!

Us at AmeriStar

Mommy and Oli

Sleeping on the way there

Oliver loves trains and this was right up his alley!
Daddy had to break a little rule to get it....shh!

Sisters

I have two biological sisters (A&H), one half siste (U)r and a step sister (K).  Im the oldest of my two and younger than my other two sisters.  U is the daughter of my bio mom and K is the daughter of my step mom.   Ive only met U once and Ive reconnected with her here in the last few years we are trying to build a relationship.  However, the other three Ive had relationships with.  The more  I think about the subject the more I wonder if A, H and K are meant to have a relationship.  

I was a mother figure to A and H for a while because when my parents divorced we lived with my mom for a while and she was nothing of a mother.  That was when I was 10! They kind of resented me because of the position I was put in.  Weve had a very strained relationship for as long as I can remember.  At so many points in time I think weve just given up on each other.  I want a normal sister relationship with all of them but we are all SO different.  Out of A, H K and myself there is always a fight or argument going on.  Its so stressful! A doesnt like K or H is fighting with A or Im fighting with wichever.  I know this has to sound like ramblings, and Im really not sure how best to put it.
Maybe one day it will be a normal situation...I guess one can only hope...
I want to be apart of their lives but who knows if that will happen.  UGH!! Anyways I guess its time to get off that topic...because Im not sure how else to address it. 

Night Out...and That is an Order!

So last night I was ordered to get out of the house. My husband is an amazing man, I wouldnt want anything more! Anyways, I called up a friend and we headed out to Oldtown. We went to see the movie Killers (Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigel WONDERFUL movie! Just what one needs when they are blue. It was hilarious. Now when her and I go to movies we laugh. We laugh alot, especially when its a comedy (thats what you are supposed to do). Whenever we go we get glares and stares from eveyone! Last night was no different! This one dude after the movie stood up and was like there you are giggles and gigglet. HAHA!! It was gerat! Once the movie was over just about everyone stood up to find out who were the laughers.

So afterwards we went over to Lucinda's. I wish I had more money to spend soley in there! I love Lucinda's! Once we lived fantasies...we headed out and walked around Oldtown for a while! We seen this guy on a bike that had a 80's style boombox on the back of it...come and party ladies! No thanks!

Really it was a great night and to top it off, I got a call from my sister telling me that my grandpa and one of my aunts were in town from Texas. I was pretty excited and then I got to talk to my grandpa. He is a hoot! I dont remember ever talking to him on the phone...it was always my grandma Di. Now here is the question that I need to pose...Im sure I wont get a response, but for my sanity I need to pose it at least so that I can ask a real person and get real feedback.

How do I spend time with people that are staying with someone I desire not to have contact with? Is it polite to invite the guests and not the host?

RIP Grandma Di

I remember sitting at a table and being asked if I would like some lucky charms. Fast forward like umpteen years later and having a telephone conversation that consisted of research. I needed to know what color eyes my family memebers had for a family tree we had to put together for 10th grade biology.
Grandma Diane was a wonderful person. This wonderful person passed away on Sunday [April 25, 2010], and will be greatly missed by many, many people. I truly wish I could say more about her, but Ive never really known her other than a couple brief encounters. Even though we've never had the pleasure of sitting down in front of each other and shared our stories I would like to think of her as a very caring, loving and beautiful person! The voice that I remember had a very thick Texas draw to it and you could hear her happiness to be speaking to one of her grandchildren, even if they were only her STEP grandchildren. I dont really think that mattered to her. She loved you regardless!

Please say a prayer for my family as they are going this most difficult loss. I wish I could of been there more and gotten to know her better, but I will get to meet her again one of these days when it's my turn.

I just pray that her family knows that she is in a better place and isn't suffering anymore. She just recently suffered from a stroke. Im not entirely sure of all the details surrounding her passing, mostly because my biological mom doesnt care to share information. That is an entirely different post that is coming later. I want my distant family to know that they are in my prayers.
~~~~~
Ive been trying to completely understand death recently, especially when 3 people that I know have died in the last month and a half. Im not afraid of death, because I know one day I will be united with my creator and get to spend eternity with Him. I think my not understanding comes from me just being selfish about wanting to keep them here with me. However, I know that the ones that Im losing right now are up there waiting on me, waiting to embrace me and catch up.

Anyway, God Bless!

A very busy week...

This last week has been full of ups and downs! The week started in the pits, but with amazing support from my husband and some amazing friends, it was bearable! Im not entirely sure how I made it through work on Monday, since the next day Noah and I were making a three hour journey to Paola/Osawatomie, Kansas. A dear friend of mine passed away and I felt that I needed to be up there to say see ya later. I only knew from previous meetings ONE other person up there. BUT Noah and I were blessed to be welcomed into the home of my friends "brother"and his family! They were amazing! We stayed up most of that night into the wee hours of the next morning talking about our friend and cheering each other up. It was wonderfully encouraging! Somehow it ended up with "genitals, genitals, genetalia" and "charlie, lets go to candy mountain, charlie." Ive never cried at a funeral as much as did this one, (1 Ive only been to 2 others and (2 this one hit a lot closer to home! I truly wish I could of talked to him before all of this, but it is what it is. One of the things that truly touched my heart while I was up there, was that nobody knew me from anyone, but when I was introduced to the family they replied " Shauna, from Wichita?" My heart glowed so brightly that my friend held me so dear! I was lucky enough that his mom had found some letters that I had wrote him back in 2004.
On the way home, this experience led me to reach out to another friend who is in similar situations. I called him, and it was a teary conversation. I basically told him that I wanted to know that I would meet him again once our time on this earth is finished. This last week has made me realize how precious relationships are no matter how minute they are. I want to make sure that the people around me know that I love them!

On another note, the rest of the week I was on vacation. I loved every moment of it! I got to spend some time with some great friends who needed face time! I got to semi reconnect with my sister, and enjoy an amazing blueberry breakfast with an equally amazing person! Noah on the other hand went out and got our dinner! That was quite a treat! Noah was so proud of his pheasant dinner! I was so blessed to have so much time with my little boy. He amazes me everyday! He is so full of wonder and intrigue. There were so many other things that happened over the week but thats just it, there was so much to write it all down!