Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Unwelcome Birthday Wishes

I had such a wonderful birthday the other day[11/9]! Other than the weather it was great! Noah surprised me by having our friends meet us for dinner at Texas Roadhouse and it was a blast. I m so glad to have these new people in our lives. I talked to dad and Judy (step mom) Monday night. My dad is amazing. Weve had our differences but these last few years things have really changed. Our relationship has strengthened. There was a time when I HATED my dad, did not want anything to do with him at all. I had my mom and thats all I needed.

Last night[11/10] my mom called me. In eleven years Ive only seen her once and talked to her twice. The first was when my middle sister ran away and we thought she had her. She said she didnt and it was a lie. The last time was when my great grandma (her grandma) was in the hospital. I couldnt really avoid her then. But after eleven years she tried to pick up right where we left off. Im 22 years old. I knew her when I was 10 years old. She is a perfect stranger. Never once in eleven years has she called to wish me a Happy Birthday or ANYTHING! All of a sudden, she calls? I really think she called so that she could "try" to patch up things between us, so that MAYBE she would be able to see her grandson.

My parents divorced in 1998. It was the best thing that could have EVER happened. My mom was/is a cheat. She taught us girls to lie. She thought of only herself, and so many other things. I finally realized that my dad wasnt the bad guy. He was actually the one who took care of us. He was an alcoholic but us girls ALWAYS came first! NO MATTER WHAT!!! I put up with enough of my moms Bs in ten years to last me a lifetime.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Judgment House 2009

Judgment House ended last Sunday and I kind of miss it but then again Ive enjoyed being able to stay home and not have to be anywhere! Although, come next year Im sure Noah and I both will be the first ones to sign up to be apart of an amazing ministry!

Ive walked through Judgment House numerous times and was always touched by it in one way or another. I got to watch one of my really good friends at the time be saved. It changes when YOU are on the other side of the fence in Hell. It was incredible to watch the faces of the people walking through. There were MANY people who seriously, no joke, would literally laugh in my face. On the flip side, I got to see MANY people cower, cover their faces, scream, and jump. I got see the repercussions of all the other scenes. I got to see how suicide affects many people.

It affected me and I was a demon in the scene. Its unbelieveable to feel the power of God working in a world where it is quite apparent that Satan is at work in a strong way. It made me very happy to see so many young kids give up their nights to such a great cause. I am so blessed to have met and be able to call them friends!

There was a time when I was beyond fired up for God and Church. I was a youth leader for my youth group. If something was coming up I knew about it. Around my senior year I started falling away, and it wasnt until I moved out on my own when I fell under the wagon and let everything tear me down and enjoy the ways of the world. Im not proud of it and its taken me a long time to even start going to church regularly again. Noah has had a big part of that in my life. Its bothered me that I couldnt sit there and have a conversation about God and Religion...its getting better, but its not where it needs to be yet. I feel that Ive found my place. I feel like Ive come full circle. That does not mean Im perfect, by no means am I...ask ANYONE!!! But I feel that Im on the rise from a once very dark part of my life. It took two weeks of being in hell to realize that I have it pretty good compared to some.

***I feel so blessed to have been apart of something so amazing. In a matter of 10 days! there were over 1500 savlations. Thats not even including rededications.